Musings At My Window


Note: This is a stream of consciousness journal entry and unlike what I usually post here on my blog, so, it doesn’t really fit under the category of poetry or fiction.

It’s July 30, 2017 and almost 8 AM in the morning. I haven’t slept yet.
I slept for a few minutes but that doesn’t count as I was in absolute peace for those few moments, returning where I belong.
However, right now, sitting by the window, the one behind the dinnette table of our house, I wonder, what I am drunk on?
It’s definitely not Rum or Vodka, no, I haven’t tasted liquor in eons.
It’s not lust, I had my last orgasm a few hours ago.
It’s not love. No, that would be too easy.
It’s not poetry, albeit, I wrote my last poem just a few minutes ago.
Am I drunk on hope? Temptation? Obsession? Mania? Blindness? Mystery? Words? Promises? Broken promises? Destruction? Deathwish? None of them? All of them?
I really don’t know.
All I know is that I spotted two brothers from my window. School students carrying the weight of the world and their futures on their shoulders and yet, the elder brother was helping the younger one to tie the kite and teach him how to fly the papery damned thing.
It got me thinking- write. Write about what you feel right now.
That’s when I took the pen and let it make love with every inch of this page, as if, it’s releasing the most sweetest and most authentic orgasm.
The cursive of my alphabets held each other, penetrating the next one, making love with each other. The black coloured book on my lap (milk and honey) shouted the meaning of hope at me.
“Yes! You are drunk on one thing, for sure!” I heard a voice. Is it my guardian angel, my inner child, the wounded healer inside me or the wild woman wolfing within me– that I could not know.
Yet, the words rang clearly in my head, brandishing my soul with the magic of each alphabet, as if tattooing my entire skin, my entire being with the meaning of it–
“You are drunk because for the first time in your life, you feel free.”

Krimson Payne aka Kashish Kaur ©®

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s